the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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