i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
There's even glitter on my cock...
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