waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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