I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
