so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
