before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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