yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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