there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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