i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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