id be glad to
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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