If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I enjoy the company of your penis
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