6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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