alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
