She's JV to your varsity
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
