I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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