Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
