the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
