ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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