why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
