Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
