your thong is hanging out like whoa
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
