I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
