This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
