yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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