I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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