Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
