So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
