I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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