I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Randomize
