I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
