Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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