pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
