So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
