I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
