there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
