his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
