i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
