Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
