I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
