i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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