Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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