6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
