Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
