Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
