grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
