Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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