it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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