either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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