um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
