After last night, I could never be a politician.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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