When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
